


Far from Home

by Angelwingsl3 (Marie_Fanwriter)



Series: Season 5 Speculation [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Complete, F/M, Far from home, Five Finger Death Punch - Freeform, Post-Season/Series 04, References to Religion, Sad Ending, Season/Series 05 Speculation, Song Inspired, now with beta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-08-14 05:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20186929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Fanwriter/pseuds/Angelwingsl3
Summary: Your heaven’s trying everythingYour heaven’s trying everythingTo break me down.When Lucifer surfaces from Hell, there are two things he misses and only one he can have.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story and title inspired by the Five Finger Death Punch- [**Far From Home**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMHhiMxGLU0). [**Piano cover**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMUNTvk9HA4)!
> 
> Thank you to [**Some_Writer**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_Writer) for beta reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer stepped onto the beach.

Chapter 1

\---

Just as the sun began to peek over the horizon to bathe the city in warm golden light, Lucifer stepped onto the beach. His usually pristine suit was dusted with ash, and his lips curled as he brushed the worst of it from his chest and shoulders. The stench of Hell clung to his nostrils even as he took in the fresh ocean air.

For a moment, Lucifer shut his eyes and appreciated the sound of gulls beginning to wake as the waves licked at his heels. How he used to keep his sanity for more than a few mortal years at a time, he didn’t know. Earth called to him more than ever. Memories haunted him as he slept and kept him on edge during all his waking hours. Hell’s screams echoed in his mind and without anything to drown them out, he could feel the wear on his soul.

Lucifer took a shaky breath. He did not have long. Minutes on Earth were hours below the surface, and if he were gone too long the demons would begin to plot against him again.

Once the calm settled him, he spread his wings wide and took to the chilly skies above Los Angeles. His form was obscured by a layer of fog.

The fallen angel’s graceful landing at the club went unnoticed, and he shrugged his wings away. At this hour of the morning, Lux was long empty. The door opened at Lucifer’s behest and without a key. He took the time to turn on a single light, the one spotlighting the piano, as he stepped inside and walked down the hall to the balcony.

A sad-- but real-- smile pulled at his lips; Mazikeen and Patrick were taking good care of the place. As he descended the stairs and headed for the bar, he noticed a few updated furnishings since the last time he was here. However long ago that was, Lucifer didn’t know. Time… time was hard to manage in Hell. On his forays above the surface, he tried to avoid seeing the date, but last time it had been eleven months since his departure. For him, it had been years.

Already, Lucifer dreaded the day he would find a century had come and gone. Everyone he cared for would long be in the Silver City by then, locked away from him for eternity.

Ignoring the burning sensation at the corners of his eyes, the Devil found himself behind the bar and free pouring a glass of scotch. It didn’t help quell the ache in his throat. Regardless, he brought the bottle and a pack of forgotten cigarettes from behind the bar to the piano. His hand skated across the lid, the lacquered wood was warm and solid against his fingers-- real. It helped ground him as he sat down.

Usually, when he came above, Lucifer would take what few minutes he had to see the Detective. Today, he couldn’t bear it. As much as he longed to see her, watching her age broke his heart. The last time, when he’d loomed in the precinct, he noticed a new scar along the back of her hand. It was silly, but the healed wound made him realize how much he was missing. Was she assaulted by some pissling criminal? Or perhaps Mazikeen had merely been trying to teach knife tricks again.

Lucifer let out a puff of air. His mouth twisted into something resembling a smile. While Chloe could shoot a two-inch target clean across a field and take down a man twice her size, her knife skills left something to be desired. Mazikeen tried, but  _ dad knows _ she wasn’t a teacher.

Another sip of scotch helped chase the memories away.

Once he’d left the glass on the top of the instrument and lit a cigarette, Lucifer finally opened the keyboard cover. His fingertips slid across the ivories. They were cold and familiar. The calm feeling from the beach returned as he depressed a single key and allowed the sound to reverberate in the empty club.

When he’d renovated Lux, the acoustics had been designed to accommodate a room full of people. All the same, the piano had no trouble filling the space alone. It left goosebumps crawling up the back of his neck and across his arms. Placing his cigarette in the ashtray, he let out a shaky smoke-laden breath and allowed the note to die entirely before settling both his hands in place. A thousand songs came to mind, but one pushed its way out, and he began to play.

At first, there were no words.

Lucifer’s eyes shut, and his hands moved by rote. He was fluid as ever, depressing the keys in time and swaying ever so slightly as he hummed the first lyrics unable to bring himself to speak just yet. There was no music in Hell and, oh, how he missed it.

_ “All the places I’ve been and things I’ve seen," _ he began to sing without opening his eyes.  _ “A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams.” _

\---

Routine brought Chloe to Lux before work, as it always did when Trixie stayed with Dan. She’d let herself in with the key Maze gave her and sit at the bar nursing a takeaway coffee. Without needing to make breakfast and ensure her sleepy little girl was ready for school, there was always time.

It made her feel close to Lucifer even after all this time. A year and three months, he’d been gone. She knew one day this ritual would have to stop. But today was not that day.

The Detective parked her cruiser in the alley, stretching her shoulders before pulling her thermos from the cup holder. A brief shiver worked its way up her spine, the air cold and foggy this morning. Chloe’s heels clicked against the pavement, echoing in the emptiness as she headed for Lux.

When she reached the door, it was unlocked. Chloe’s eyes narrowed. With Maze away on a bounty, Patrick had been managing the club. He never forgot to lock up.

Gently, she pushed the door open and glanced inside; it was mostly dark. She took a hesitant step forward, leaving her coffee on the railing by the coat check and putting her hand at her hip, lingering above her sidearm, just in case. There was music playing, and Chloe followed the sound. Her heart fluttered in her chest as the piano chords gave way to a voice. It couldn’t be… could it?

Chloe nearly ran down down the hall, barely managing to stop herself in the shadows at the edge of the balcony. She’d recognize that voice anywhere, she didn’t need to see the man sitting at the piano to know it was Lucifer. But as she caught sight of him, she hesitated. A knot worked its way into her throat, cutting off the words lingering on her tongue.

_ “The faces of people I’ll never see again."  _ Lucifer’s voice wavered over the words, so unlike his usual confidence.  _ “And I can’t seem to find my way home.” _

Grasping the wall, Chloe watched him wide-eyed and heartbroken. His shoulders, polluted with ash, shook even as his fingers continued across the keys, fluid like water. 

_ “‘Cause it’s almost like  _

_ Your heaven’s trying everything  _

_ To break me down.” _

Tears formed and slid down her cheeks as she listened. The words repeated again and again. Each time they seemed to take another small part of Lucifer’s soul along with them. Chloe had always known he threw his passion into the instrument, but to see him like this-- with the words so literal falling from his lips, she could hardly stand.

_ “Your heaven’s trying everything _

_ To keep me out.” _

Lucifer stopped singing for a minute to play through the solo, letting the piano fill the space without lyrics to accompany it. Even without words, his passion remained strong.

_ “Your heaven’s trying everything  _

_ Your heaven’s trying everything  _

_ To break me down.” _

As he played the final chords and sang the last words, his composure broke. Lucifer’s hands left the keys to cradle his face. His back bowed, and shoulders shook. For the first time, Chloe saw Lucifer truly shatter.

Without her permission, her feet had taken her down the stairs. It wasn’t until her shoe left the carpet and touched down on the hardwood of the piano deck that Lucifer’s head snapped up. He froze like a statue at the sight of her. His dark, damp eyes widened to the size of saucers.

“Chloe-”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A loud bang cut through Lux as the piano bench slammed into the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't mind me adding some short chapters to this as they come to mind! Enjoy, Lucifans!

Chapter 2

\---

A loud bang cut through Lux as the piano bench slammed into the floor. Lucifer stood on wobbly legs; his hands caught it the air in front of him as though he didn’t know where to put them. He watched her with wide eyes, short breathes passing through parted lips. She could see the air caught in his throat until it finally found its way into his lungs as his chest rose and fell rapidly. 

“I-I-” he stumbled over words, so unlike his usual self. “You-”

Her heart broke just a little more for him at that moment. This close, she could see red-rimmed, tired eyes devoid of the mirth she had grown to love so much. Dark bags shone like bruises upon his once flawless skin--  _ 'cleanliness is akin to... well, you know the rest, Detective.' _ Gone were the familiar dark lines of his favourite eyeliner, and his stubble looked about three days too far grown. If it weren’t for the expensive suit and carefully coiffed, albeit wind-swept hair, Chloe might not have believed it was Lucifer standing before her.

A sympathetic smile spread her lips, her eyes softened with all the love she felt for this man-- the fallen angel, the Devil. “Lucifer-”

But he shook his head, cutting off her words before she could welcome him home.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he admitted quietly. The Detective watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and then looking terrified, his head remained tilted away as if surrendering. “I- I have to go.”

“No!” Chloe’s shout surprised even her, and her heart ached as Lucifer flinched. He took a step back, tripping over the fallen piano bench as though he’d forgotten it was there. Had it not been for the quick response of his wings, he’d have fallen. The glorious white feathers suddenly filled the room with light far beyond what came from the single spotlight overhead.

In a moment, Chloe crossed the space between them and stopped just an arm’s length away, uncertain if she should try to touch him or not. “You can’t leave,” she whispered, knowing that her eyes were becoming damp and her bottom lip trembled exactly how Trixie’s did when she was upset. “Please don’t leave.”

Lucifer’s eyes closed, and he turned his head away. His hands clenched and released at his sides while his wings seemed to tremble. “I must.” His voice was quieter than her own. “I shouldn’t have come here. I apologize, you- you won’t see me ag- ooph.”

Chloe didn’t let him finish the words. She slammed into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his shirt. If she didn’t let go, he couldn’t leave, right? At least that’s what the Detective told herself. Chloe almost thought it would be true when Lucifer relaxed into her grip, and the tension fell out of his body.

Ever so carefully, his hands rose to wrap around her back. The flat of one palm slid along her spine, between her shoulder blades to rest on the back of her neck, skin to skin. A shaky breath fell into the silence. Chloe didn’t know who it was, but the cool contact soothed her as much as it loosened the remaining tension in Lucifer’s body.

When Chloe felt his heart rate slow beneath her cheek, she pulled back enough to look up at him, arms still wound tightly around his waist. Lucifer’s long lashes fluttered as he opened his eyes to look at her, his gaze so full of longing it hurt. Carefully, she brought one hand around to crawl up the length of his chest to cup his cheek. She didn’t dare break contact with him for fear he might disappear.

“Stay,” she breathed, knowing how selfish the request really was but pleading anyway. “Please.”

To say he looked crestfallen would be an understatement, beneath her fingers she could feel the strain in his jaw. Had she not been holding him in place, Chloe knew he would have looked away again. She felt like a monster for tugging at his heart like this, making it more difficult for him to refuse.

“You know I can’t.”

Chloe raised herself on her toes and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. A compromise came to mind, a deal. “Just for an hour,” she said, pulling away enough to see him blink a handful of times and his brow furrow. “Then I’ll let you go.”

A sound almost like a laugh fell into the air between them, and he nodded. “Deal.”

\---

Lucifer didn’t know what to think as Chloe took his hand and tugged him toward the elevator, still unwilling to let go as if he’d break his vow to stay. It was only an hour, not nearly long enough when he wanted to spend the rest of Chloe’s life by her side, but it was all Hell could allow. The Devil lost count of how many years had gone by since leaving the Earthly plane. An hour now might take years to fix below, but he needed it. He needed her.

When they reached the lift, Chloe pressed the call button, and the doors opened right away. Lucifer shrugged his wings away rather than fold them down to fit inside the cramped space. Stepping inside, she hit the penthouse command before drawing him back into her embrace. A smile tugged at his lips as he held Chloe against his chest and dipped his face into her crown. She smelled of wildflowers, coffee, and warmth. Just some of the things he missed in Hell.

The bell dinged as they reached the top floor. Chloe reluctantly let go to pull him inside, her direction already set before they began to move.

They reached the base of the stairs to his room when Lucifer halted, a hint of mirth colouring his eyes as he looked from Chloe’s confused expression to the bed. He wanted to make a joke, but none one would come to mind. Still, his Detective rolled her eyes and drew him into the room and then down the hall to his master bath.

“You smell like-” Chloe stopped. Her nose scrunched as she tried to place the scent of brimstone and fire, and failed.

“Hell, Darling,” Lucifer replied, the smile turning to a wry smirk. “I smell like Hell.”

Chloe’s eyes narrowed, and her lips became a thin line as she disapproved of his jest. “Regardless,” she said, her hands rising to tug at the buttons on his shirt one by one. “You need a shower.”

He froze beneath her fingertips. It had been so long since he’d been touched by anyone, let alone so tenderly as she carefully worked her way down his chest. A chill ran up his spine, leaving behind goosebumps in its wake. There was nothing sexual about it, but his shaking breath as Chloe started with his belt made her pause, almost as if she’d only just realized she was undressing him.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Chloe said as she met his eyes. A faint pink flush painted her cheeks. 

Before she could step away, Lucifer caught her hands. “Don’t go.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 
> 
> I've so loved sharing this with you all. Thank you for your comments and kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are welcome to join me, of course,” he suggested with a suggestive lilt to his voice, hiding his insecurities with humour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the encouraging words! We're back with more thanks to you lovely people.

Chapter 3

\---

Chloe’s eyes softened at his request. Her thumb caressed the back of his knuckles, and she nodded once. Lucifer felt his chest flutter at her quietly spoken ‘ _ okay.’ _ The tension rising in his throat at the thought of having her out of his sight loosened. A shuddering breath fell from his lips, and Chloe squeezed his hand before letting go.

“Right.” Lucifer inclined his head as he looked around. Tempting as it was to clap his hands together as would be habitual for him, he refrained so that he didn’t break the quiet. The familiar bathroom surrounded him and felt like home with its clean lines and dark wood accents on stone. A tub large enough for four took up one corner and a glass-walled shower ran the length of the opposing wall. Facilities hid behind another door, and a countertop with two sinks took up the remaining space.

Spotting the desired item, Lucifer grabbed the stool from beneath the vanity and placed it outside the shower door. When he spun on Chloe, she was looking at him with an amused smirk and a raised brow.

“You are welcome to join me, of course,” he suggested with a suggestive lilt to his voice, hiding his insecurities with humour. He knew Chloe to be a morning showerer, and the smell of her hair-- when they’d embraced-- confirmed it. “But you do seem to be ready for work already?” he kept his hands busy, unfastening his cufflinks.

“I am.” Chloe smiled and crossed the distance between them. Carefully, she raised her hands to his shoulders and pushed his jacket and shirt down his arms in one motion. Lucifer felt a chill rise up his spine again, and he closed his eyes as the clothes fell to the floor. “I’ll turn around,” she said.

By the time he looked, Chloe had faced away with her gaze on the bedroom door and closet to avoid looking at him in the mirror. Not that he’d have an issue with that,  _ oh no. _ Still, he finished stripping and stepped into the shower before turning it on. “All clear, Detective.”

Her laugh warmed him.

While Lucifer let the water wash over his back, soothing his aching muscles, Chloe took a seat on the newly positioned stool. Her back was to him, but as he looked through the glass, he could see her in the mirror. The opacity of the shower glass from chest to knee height obscured anything worth seeing, but their eyes met and her pink flush from earlier deepened. She suddenly found something quite interesting on the back of her hand and Lucifer tore his gaze away to focus on getting clean.

Sulphur and brimstone clung to his body, and it took a full scrub down to remove the heady smell. It had been so long since he’d felt clean. Chloe was right; he needed this. Simple pleasures like music and hot water were what he missed most about Earth, more than sex and booze at any rate.

Resting his forehead on his arm against the wall, Lucifer let the water wash away the last suds. He didn’t understand Chloe’s intentions, nor what this single hour would accomplish, but he was willing to do whatever she desired. He wanted more, he ached for it, but Hell would drag him back as it always did. Inhaling sharply, Lucifer forced himself straight, and he shut off the shower.

When he opened the door, Chloe held out a towel for him and had her free hand covering her eyes. Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth, making him chuckle.

“If I didn’t know better,” he teased as he took the towel and wrapped it low around his hips. “I’d say you wanted to look.” Chloe said nothing. “You can open your eyes now. I’m decent-- not that you haven’t seen it before.”

Her fingers parted first, a tentative check to confirm his honesty before dropping entirely. “Not the point, Lucifer.”

He shrugged, stepping around her to fetch a second towel from the vanity for his hair. As Lucifer did so, he caught sight of himself in the mirror and cringed. One hand rubbed along his jawline, taking in the too-long stubble and dark eyes. He looked like Hell.

Shaking off his annoyance, Lucifer bent at the waist and dried his hair with the new towel. “So, what’s next on your agenda?” he asked when he straightened.

Chloe only half managed to hide a snort.

He twisted to look at her and found her trying to hide laughter. “What?”

She shook her head, still smiling. “I’ve never seen your hair this curly.” A few steps took her across the bathroom and stopped a pace in front of him. Hesitantly, her fingers rose to card through the damp locks. Blinking a handful of times, Lucifer let Chloe do as she wished. It felt… nice, actually. “I like it,” she told him after a minute.

“Well-” Lucifer cleared his throat as she pulled away, not knowing how to respond to that. “-that’s what happens without product,” he finished lamely.

“Why don’t you shave while I find you something clean to wear?”

\---

Chloe didn’t wait for an answer before she disappeared into Lucifer’s closet. She could feel his eyes on her back until rounding the corner. Only once she was out of sight did she let her expression fall. Keeping Lucifer here was selfish, but he’d looked so broken sitting there at the piano. She couldn’t leave him like that. Her stomach twisted in knots.

Soon, Chloe would have to let him leave. It didn’t matter that it had been a year, her heart would always be his, and her mind would not change. Chloe Decker was in love with the Devil-- a celestial being with duties far too essential to evade for a lowly human. A sob caught in her throat.

Instead of focusing on the inevitable, she forced her attention to the wardrobe. Lucifer always looked impeccable. Even after a week without sleep, he’d taken the time to dress properly in Versace and favoured Louis Vuitton’s. So Chloe took her time searching through the closet for something specific. She settled on a dark grey suit that she knew he liked and a purple shirt to match. They weren’t his, nor her favourite. Selfishly, she wanted to ensure that one remained here in the penthouse and impeccable because  _ maybe _ one day he could return home to her.

Returning to the bathroom, Chloe stopped in the doorway, allowing a smile to overtake her features and conceal her sorrow again. At the corners of her eyes, she could feel tears starting to well, and it took all she had to keep them from falling. It was silly. 

Lucifer had nearly finished cultivating his five’ o’ clock shadow. He leaned forward over the sink, inspecting the sharpness of the line under his chin. “Lovely,” he said to himself, apparently approving of his work before turning on the faucet and rinsing the remaining shaving cream from his neck with a few handfuls of water.

Chloe hung his clothes on a hook by the entrance as she crossed to lean on the counter beside him. Lucifer glanced over, grinning, before returning his attention to his personal care routine. When he finished with his eyeliner and slicked back his hair, he looked a lot more like himself. It settled something deep within her, relieving the weight on her chest.

“So?” He turned toward her, the question of ‘what next’ lingering between them.

“I thought we’d have coffee on the balcony?” Chloe suggested as she took a step closer. There was a dab of shaving cream on his neck still and, without second-guessing herself, she reached to place her hand on the side of his neck so she could wipe it away with the edge of her thumb. Lucifer’s skin was warm and damp beneath her fingers, and she felt him shudder.

Before Chloe could pull away, Lucifer placed his hand over hers and leaned into the touch as he closed his eyes. After a moment, he returned her hand after leaving a lingering kiss on the back of her knuckles. She could see there were words on the tip of his tongue, but he kept silent and moved to dress instead of addressing them.

Chloe waited for him in the hall.

A few moments later, Lucifer joined her. Without hesitation, their fingers intertwined and a gentle tug brought them to the kitchen on the other side of the penthouse. Somehow, he managed to whisk her into a seat at the island while he busied himself behind the counter with the coffee machine.

Like everything he did, from playing the piano and dancing to serving drinks down at Lux, Lucifer’s movements were as graceful as ever. He found shelf-stable almond milk stocked in one of the cupboard and coffee grounds sealed in a container. He found his voice too as he worked, humming some tune that she couldn’t place. Lucifer appeared at ease given something to do with his hands, and that was all she could hope for with only an hour together. A glance at the clock showed their time was half-over.

She shook off the melancholy feeling. The hour wasn’t about her.

Before Chloe knew it, her favourite drink was on the counter before her, steaming hot. Lucifer had made himself a black coffee which he heavily dosed with scotch from the liquor cabinet above the fridge, making her smile knowingly. His drinking was somehow less eccentric now that she knew he wasn’t human. 

“To the balcony, then?” Lucifer offered her a hand. When she grasped it, some of the warmth he usually exhibited was back.

She beamed. “Yes, let’s.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> If you want to chat Lucifer, feel free to hit me up on Tumblr. https://angelwingsl3.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mug clinked as he put it down between them and tapped at the handle absently with a ringed finger. After a moment, his lips parted as if to say something, but he closed his mouth and shook his head minutely instead.
> 
> Whatever he wanted to say, she’d never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! In honour of my last night shift (hopefully ever!), here's a mid-week chapter to tide you over through to the weekend. I hope to have the real finale published by Labour Day.
> 
> Now, enough about me. Enjoy the show!

Chapter 4

\---

As Chloe and Lucifer stepped into the breeze, the first thing she noticed was that the morning chill was gone. Replacing it was the warm California sunshine she’d grown up under. Her navy shirt soaked in the rays and took the ice from her bones. They sat down together at the dinette, coffee steaming in their hands.

Glancing at her partner, Chloe watched his eyes fall shut as he took in the sunshine and sipped from his mug. Pure bliss would be how she’d describe Lucifer’s expression. The morning rays brightened his dark hair and hid the shadows that reached down to his cheekbones. He looked younger. The weight of the world-- or rather of Hell-- disappeared from his face.

When Lucifer lowered his drink, a smile adorned his features, and it reached his eyes as he opened them to regard her. The mug clinked as he put it down between them and tapped at the handle absently with a ringed finger. After a moment, his lips parted as if to say something, but he closed his mouth and shook his head minutely instead.

Whatever he wanted to say, she’d never know.

Chloe didn’t fight or complain, she merely put her coffee down and then reached out to place her hand over his and rub her thumb across his skin. His gaze fell to watch, and he twisted his hand, palm up, on the table to give her access to his wrist.

First, Chloe traced the longest line with the tip of her forefinger-- the lifeline if she remembered correctly from her silly foray into palm reading as a pre-teen. Her mother had a part in some movie she couldn’t remember the name of; all Chloe could recall was a Zoltan arcade machine and some questionable wardrobe choices. Her lips twitched into a smirk at the memory before sliding back to serenity.

The tiny hairs on the back of her neck began to stand up as she trailed along Lucifer’s long, elegant fingers and across his palm to his wrist. Chloe felt him shiver, and when she chanced a glance at his face, Lucifer’s eyes were closed again. A shaky breath filled the space between them, and she watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed down a moan.

Chloe didn’t want him to hide it.

She found herself on her feet, closing the distance between them in an instant as her hand traced up his arm to settle on the back of his neck. Lucifer’s eyes opened as he felt her move, and they stared into hers as she drew closer. Chloe closed nearly the entire distance, stopping close enough that his breath caressed her lips. She wanted to keep the memory of his shocked expression in her mind forever as she pressed her mouth to his and let her eyes fall shut.

Something daring had taken hold of her. She’d been too timid to act before, but with the looming threat of Lucifer leaving, she had to be brave.

Barely a second passed before he began to return the kiss. His lips were warm against hers, and they moved oh so gently. Soon, Lucifer’s fingers found purchase in her hair as he drew Chloe deeper into his embrace. He stood to pull their bodies together, his hands never leaving her skin. She couldn’t help her gasp at the feeling of his warm body against hers, and Lucifer instinctively took advantage as his tongue dove between her lips.

Feeling dizzy with want, Chloe held on tight and met his intensity with fervour. She grasped his lapel to keep him in easy reach. The kiss held all the emotions they could not bear to speak. With it, she asked him to stay, and he demonstrated just how much he wanted to.

By the time her lungs began to burn, her heart was pounding in her chest. They parted and shared breath, neither pulling away. Instead, they shifted in one another’s arms so Chloe could rest her cheek against his chest. Lucifer dropped his face into her hair, and he held on for dear life.

\---

Lucifer knew their time ran short. He could feel the passage of the seconds deep in his bones. So unlike Hell, these moments were fleeting and he wanted to claw them back desperately. Chloe loved him as deeply as he loved her, but he had to leave, and this time would be the last. Lucifer couldn’t put Chloe through this again if it hurts her half as much as it did him; he couldn’t bear it. His selfishness would not be allowed to destroy the rest of her life.

Tears threatened to fall from Lucifer’s eyes, and he trembled in her arms.

“Chloe-” his voice broke.

Instead of allowing him to speak again, Chloe rose up on her toes. Gentle hands rose to secure his face as she kissed him once more. “I know,” she whispered against his lips. “I know.”

Lucifer felt as though he was back in Heaven. It was like he’d never fallen from Grace and burned on his way down. Chloe gave him strength where he thought there was none left. He couldn’t comprehend the power she held over him, nor did he want to. She was his light, his Morning Star.

All he truly desired was what he could never have: a life with Chloe. Not just fleeting moments and stolen kisses, but a lifetime of shared touches and experiences. To Hell with immortality, Lucifer wanted to grow old together. Not only that, but he wished to see Beatrice flourish under her mother’s watchful eye, and to see Mazikeen find love, and watch Linda and Amenadiel become parents. Damn, he even missed Daniel.

Not for the first time, Lucifer regretted his decision to defy  _ Him. _ But he would do it all again if it meant meeting  _ her. _

His arms tightened around the Detective’s back as he poured every ounce of love into their kiss. Lucifer knew he would not have another chance. His tongue danced against hers as they swayed to the sound of the breeze.

When they parted breathlessly this time, he gazed down into her beautiful blue eyes and committed them to memory. Time had come. He opened his mouth to speak the three words he should have said so long ago before he’d run away, but she silenced him with a finger on his lips.

“Play one more song for me,” she said, gazing so deep into his eyes that he knew his soul was bared to her. “Just one.”

And Lucifer would not dare deny her. “Of course, Darling.” He smiled down softly as he took her hand in his, knowing it would be the last song he’d ever play. For there was no music in Hell, and he would never step foot on Earth again-- for both their sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me on the cliffhanger! <3
> 
> What are your guesses for Lucifer's final song? Tell me in the comments!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not certain this is right-” he began, glancing at Chloe for only a moment before returning his attention to the piano. “-but it is one of my favourites, and I finally understand what it means.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Lucifer chose is a modified version of [**Wicked Game**](https://youtu.be/vYYUv50Ryxg) by Chris Isaak. Tom Ellis was kind enough to perform it live, and I could not be happier to share it with you if you missed it.
> 
> A round of applause for my lovely beta [**Some_Writer**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_Writer)!

Chapter 5

\---

A thousand songs came to mind as Lucifer led the way to the piano. However, by the time he sat down, not one of them seemed like enough for this moment. He smoothed his hand across the lacquered wood as he uncovered the keys. His ivories were cold to the touch. Without him, the piano sat abandoned. While Lux had a few pianists to fill in, no one but Maze-- and maybe Chloe-- would have been in the penthouse.

Lucifer’s hand skimmed from the high notes to low without pressing a single key. How odd it was to take his seat and have nothing spring into his head. This- this had never happened before. He glared at the keys and would have continued to do so if Chloe hadn’t touched him. Broken from his reverie, he turned to see a soft smile on her lips and deep within her sympathetic eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” she said as she squeezed his shoulder and left a lingering kiss on his cheek. He watched her walk to the bar, round to the tender’s side, and pour two glasses of scotch. When she looked up from their drinks, he was tempted to start playing one of those nineties songs from her playlist to break the tension.

The notes of _ I’m Too Sexy _ popped into his head and were quickly banished. This was no time for Right Said Fred. He suppressed a shudder. Lu cifer wanted-- no,  _ needed- _ _ - _ something perfect. Brightening the mood with humour somehow seemed wrong in the face of his final departure.

Chloe returned to his side, and their fingers brushed when he took the glass. He felt pins and needles swim across his spine at her touch.

“Sit with me,” he requested before he brought the scotch to his nose. Closing his eyes, Lucifer savoured the rich scent as it killed the ash lingering in his sinuses. It calmed his racing mind enough that he could begin narrowing his selections.

The Devil could always sing something low and mournful as he’d done downstairs; a song full of regret and longing. Somehow, that wasn’t right either.

His Detective brushed his shoulder as she took a seat beside him and then a sip before leaving her glass on the piano beside the empty ashtray. Patience may not be a virtue Lucifer would say he possessed, but Chloe had it in spades. She would wait for him, as long as it took. Lucifer drank before setting his tumbler down and only then did he return his fingers to the keys.

“I’m not certain this is right-” he began, glancing at Chloe for only a moment before returning his attention to the piano. “-but it is one of my favourites, and I finally understand what it means.”

Chloe’s hand fell to his knee, and she gave it an encouraging squeeze. Her warmth flooded him, giving Lucifer the strength to depress the first note. Once one fell, the rest followed with ease.

_ “The world is on fire, and no one could save me but you _

_ It's strange what desires can make foolish people do _

_ I'd never dreamt that I'd meet somebody like you _

_ And I'd never thought that I'd want somebody like you.” _

Lucifer modified the words to  _ Wicked Game _ with ease. He’d known the keystrokes and the original lyrics by heart for so long they were rote. From the first time he heard it at a concert in the early nineties, it stuck with him. Until now, he hadn’t known what to make of the lyrics. Without context, they were meaningless. Now, he knew better, and he knew he wanted more.

The new song flowed without hesitation or fault.

_ “Now, I want to fall in love _

_ Yes, I want to fall in love _

_ With you _

_ With you.” _

The only part of his Grace that never left was Lucifer’s talent for music. Even as the stars were torn from his grasp, the fallen angel’s mind would never silence itself completely. His Father had taken everything in the rebellion and damned him to Hell, where only screams could echo through the air. Ash ate any attempt of Lucifer’s to sing or play, burning his lungs right along with his flesh. Memories were all that would remain.

_ “What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way _

_ What a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you _

_ What a wicked thing to say to make me feel this way _

_ What a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you.” _

Chloe’s hand never left his thigh. If anything, she squeezed harder as his voice cracked over the final words of the verse. At least his fingers remained steady over the keys, they were too well-practiced not to. The piano’s vibrations were all that grounded Lucifer as he sang. It hurt, pouring his soul into the lyrics, so much that he shut his eyes against the sunlight reflecting off the bar.

_ “Now, I want to fall in love _

_ “Now, I want to fall in love _

_ “Now, I want to fall in love.” _

Their time dwindled as the song came to a close. Lucifer’s final words came out in a bare whisper, and he opened his eyes as he turned toward Chloe.

_ “Now, I’ve fallen in love _

_ With you.” _

\---

Lucifer’s fingers lingered on the depressed keys until the last note had long stopped echoing in the penthouse, and Chloe’s found herself frozen alongside him. A lump caught in her throat, he’d never said the words so explicitly before. Lucifer said Eve wasn’t his first love-- that she was-- but to hear him say it now, that he’d fallen in love with her….

A tear started at the corner of Chloe’s eye and fell silently down her cheek. That tiny break in stillness cracked the moment in two, spurring Lucifer into motion. He brushed the dampness away with his thumb and cupped her cheeks with both hands before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I’m so sorry, Chloe,” he whispered against her skin.

He made to let go, and she caught him at the last moment with her hands closing around his forearms. “Not yet.” She stood and drew him into her embrace. “Just- not yet.” Chloe felt him nod against her crown as he squeezed her tightly to his chest.

Chloe needed a minute to bring herself back under control. She wanted to say those words too, and this time not as a selfish ploy to have him stay. She’d hated that she resorted to that sort of manipulation last time, but at the moment, she would have done anything.

As reluctant as she was to pull away, Chloe knew she couldn’t hold on forever. Both her hands slid around to his chest, one stayed above his heart, and the other found his stubbled cheek. Rising on her toes, they came together in a kiss. Chloe hoped he felt all the love and warmth she embedded into it. It would have to hold them over until he could come back again.

When they broke apart, it was her turn to brush away the tears. First from Lucifer’s face and then hers with a small laugh. Lucifer’s expression softened, and he rubbed their foreheads together, sharing the moment with her. “I will always love you,” he promised her softly.

“I love you,” she said, making the words as clear as possible. There was no way he could misconstrue them that way. “And I’ll be here when you come back.”

He flinched, and she pulled back enough to look him in the eye. Before she could question it, he was babbling and filling the space with stuttered words that made no sense. “I won’t- You should move- You can’t- Oh, Chloe-”

“Hey, hey,” she hushed him, stopping the anxiety with another chaste kiss. He trembled in her arms, his bottom lip quivering against hers. “There’s no one else, Lucifer. You’re it for me. I’ll wait.”

He made an anguished noise like he was dying, or at least like something inside him was.

“Lucifer-”

“I can’t do that to you,” he argued as he tore himself out of her arms and nearly sent them both sprawling as they tripped on the piano bench. A cacophony of sound echoed as they caught themselves against the piano keys. “I can’t!” he yelled with wild eyes over the crash.

Chloe straightened and held her hand out to him. Lucifer didn’t take it. Instead, he shook his head and leaned against the piano. His back bowing, and chin falling to his chest.

“You deserve so much more than that, Chloe.” He sounded so broken, like the wind had fallen from his sails for the last time. “I’m not worth it.” She made to argue, but he silenced her just by looking up and into her eyes. “Even if I was- it doesn’t matter.” The ache in her heart rose to a peak as he pushed off the piano. “I have to go back.”

“Find a way to come home!” She winced at how pathetic she sounded. Chloe knew she was only making it harder for Lucifer to leave. Again, she guilted him, and she couldn’t stop. “Come back to me.”

Lucifer wouldn’t meet her eyes again; instead, he clenched his hands to fists at his side. “If there was a way-” His voice wasn’t angry, merely coming out in a defeated whisper. “-don’t you think I would have found it?”

She knew he spoke the truth. He always did. So, Chloe just nodded as she closed the gap between them one last time. He let her into his space and even encircled her with his arms. 

“I love you,” she repeated, voice thick with all the things she wanted to tell him but they didn’t have time for. “I love you so much.” Letting go was the hardest thing Chloe had ever done. Lucifer’s lips brushed hers, and by the time she opened her eyes, he was gone.

As much as Chloe felt her heart shattering, she knew Lucifer’s was just as broken. Only- he didn’t have anyone to pull him up. There was no Trixie or Penelope, no Dan or Ella, no Mazikeen or Linda or even Amenadiel waiting for him.

Unless- unless she could find a way. Maybe there was no way for Lucifer to find his way home alone, but if she could enlist help then maybe… just maybe there was a way.

\---

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to the end, at least for now. Thank you for all of your support, and I truly hope our 'Really Sad Devil Guy' can hang in there until season 5. Chloe might need to give him a little push. 
> 
> <3


End file.
